I am not one to share my problems for the purpose of seeking pity. The reason I am blogging about my illness it is because it is therapeutic and because I want to share my experience with others who may be in the same situation that I am. Since I have been feeling this way I have met many people with similar symptoms. More importantly, I was told to keep a journal of my symptoms by doctors in Florida and Boston and report them to my family doctor. But when my family doctor told me that it was something that I would have to live with for the rest of my life, I was devastated. It was hard to believe that I would live the rest of my life being dizzy all the time and having a random part of my body tingle when I least expect it leaving me groaning in pain and having people asking me if I was alright.
When I first began to feel the dizziness I thought that it was bad. But I had no idea what it truly was to be dizzy. The first couple of times it was pretty mild. It is what in the medical field they call lightheadedness. Light headedness is exactly what the word means. It is feeling that your head is lighter than usual and a feeling of fainting that lasts a couple of seconds. This happened many times and it would happen randomly. The first occurrence I felt of actual dizziness was while I was working on my teaching internship in the fall of 2014. I was standing in the front of the room teaching my class when all of a sudden the room began to spin. I thought I was going to fall over, but I didn't. I was able to manage the feeling without looking completely dumb. But I felt drunk in this dizziness. I did not feel right, I felt sickly. And I did not want to acknowledge that there was something wrong with me, but it was too much.
Although it worried me, I also did not have insurance and could not do much about it. So instead I made myself busy working on daily tasks and tried not to concentrate on whatever was going on with me. That was a mistake. Why you may ask? It is because you cannot only ignore a problem and expect it to go away because it simply gets worse, never better. This dizziness that left me stuck where I stood or sat and left me with the feeling of falling over, was slowly taking over my life. I was afraid of driving or of falling over, even though I never did. But just because I was not falling over and fainting it did not mean that it kept me from doing the things that I loved. I relaxed and it did not stop. I began to withdraw inside my bedroom and laid in bed all day.
I complained about being dizzy often enough before this started happening, little did I know that it was actually lightheadedness, so my husband treated it as a mild everyday occurrence. Until I realized what dizziness truly was and then my complaints turned to concerns. I was given Dramamine but to no avail. Regardless of my struggles, I could not disregard the fact that my body was telling me that something was wrong. I could not do anything without having the room spin around me.
When I began to feel the tingling, I am not sure. But I do remember that I would be sitting down and that my whole body would tingle and I would be unable to move or get up from the seat. I was tingling and immovable for several minutes until it would stop and would regain my mobility. It went from that to waking up with my left side tingling for what seemed thirty or more minutes. The next time it would happen it would be on the right side. And I laid in bed until it subsided. Eventually, it turned into this feeling of having critters crawling inside me, or hundreds of needles prickling me from the inside that came and went whenever it pleased and it was not always in the same place. No, sometimes my foot would tingle; sometimes it would be in my arm, my hand, my head, hips, mouth, eyes, my stomach, and even below my core region. Along with the dizziness, the tingling sensation that stung and hurt was slowly becoming part of my life.
Several months later I am still getting dizzy. I still experience the tingling and the pain everywhere. It is not an everyday thing. It has become a routine, and my body begins to do this consistently the first two weeks of the month. And then after that, it comes and goes. But as I write this blog, the dizziness persists. The room no longer spins all around me everyday, it only happens when it wants to. Both symptoms are followed by others that I will be sharing on another blog. But as for the dizziness and the tingling, I cannot win because to calm my dizziness I need to lie down, but lying down makes the tingling get worse, especially at night. But don't get me wrong, I have my good days and I treasure those days. But knowing that it will not last puts me on edge, yet I know that this will not be the death of me even though it may feel like it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Saturday, August 13, 2016
A Year Later
Apart from your occasional headache, common cold, or seasonal allergies, I have always been a healthy person, one with much energy and vitality. It was uncommon for me to be sick or for me to be in bed for days. If I was unwell, I could not stay in bed for more than an hour or so without getting up and taking care of the picking up, cleaning, and laundry on my own. There was never a time, before January 2015, that I could nap for hours during the day or feel so fatigued that I could not get up from bed or even feel tired from working for several hours. I was the opposite; I could work, clean, or do anything from the minute I woke up in the morning until the minute my head hit the pillow without stopping. I'm not quite sure of the month or the day, but all of that turned around one day. Although it had been changing over time, it finally got to the point that I could not get up.
It hadn't been long after the wreck that I began to feel a stabbing pain in my temples that lasted no more than a few seconds. Along with the dizziness came a stiff neck and a headache. There were times while I was cooking that I would experience a stabbing pain on either one of my temples. Other days I felt my brain on fire and would have severe headaches that kept me in bed all day along with high fever. My husband and I are Christians and believe in a higher power. For those months, without insurance, I asked him to give me a blessing which I know with all of my heart helped me during the summer of 2015. Soon it was back to school, and I was to begin my student teaching. I was in my last year of my four-year college education, and I was ready to be finished, ready to move on to new horizons and begin a new journey that included having the perfect job and enjoying my family.
August rolled along, and in the second week of school, I started my student teaching at the local Middle School teaching eighth grade. I gradually worked into instructing the students in the classroom. First, I watched as she guided the students, helped her grade essays and other assignments. Soon I was helping students with their work, and earlier than expected, I created lesson plans and started to teach. In the evenings, after work and cooking, I experienced lightheadedness- what I then called dizziness- but after several Doctor visits learned what it was. As I stood in front of the classroom and taught the class early one morning with my advisor observing me, the whole room spun around me for several seconds without falling over or even leaning over. I went on teaching my lesson. The saying: "those who never complain are never pitied" rang true. I did not complain, and I was not pitied. I finished my internship and obtained my Bachelor's in English and Secondary Education.
Right after graduation, I substituted again. I was still experiencing dizziness accompanied by a stiff neck, tingling, and headaches. It came like clockwork. Every Sunday I would wake up tired as if I had not gotten enough sleep. The dizziness went from occurring now and then to every Sunday. It happened every Sunday in the month of December and January. Until one Sunday my limbs felt like weights and were stiff that I could not move or even get up from the bed. Several Sundays I woke on my back unable to get my body off the bed until after 30 minutes of lying awake in bed. I carried my limbs that way from Sunday until Tuesday unable to lift my arms properly and taking forever to get from one place to the other.
After I had finished school, I began to get worse. Not only was I dizzy half the time during the day, but I was also experiencing tingling throughout my body, neck pain, fatigue, and a stabbing pain in my temples. Although it was not constant, the pain was often and debilitating. On the first Sunday of 2015, in trying to wake up from bed to go to church, I couldn't. I laid in bed unable to move a muscle and unable to open my eyes. I felt myself trying to get up but couldn't.
After that time, the next time it happened, was the next Sunday, and every Sunday after that and it would drag into the next two days experiencing tingling all over my body and was hardly unable to move. Instead of staying home I worked at the schools trying to substitute and carried on as usual. It became a recurring event.
Every Sunday from then on I was unable to get up from bed; this began to create a numbing sensation on the left side of my body, sometimes the arm and sometimes the leg. Then my muscles became stiff until I managed to move my body. Tired, dizzy, tingling, numb and sleeping most of the time, my life became harder than it had ever been before and doing daily mundane tasks became almost impossible without being worn out.
It hadn't been long after the wreck that I began to feel a stabbing pain in my temples that lasted no more than a few seconds. Along with the dizziness came a stiff neck and a headache. There were times while I was cooking that I would experience a stabbing pain on either one of my temples. Other days I felt my brain on fire and would have severe headaches that kept me in bed all day along with high fever. My husband and I are Christians and believe in a higher power. For those months, without insurance, I asked him to give me a blessing which I know with all of my heart helped me during the summer of 2015. Soon it was back to school, and I was to begin my student teaching. I was in my last year of my four-year college education, and I was ready to be finished, ready to move on to new horizons and begin a new journey that included having the perfect job and enjoying my family.
August rolled along, and in the second week of school, I started my student teaching at the local Middle School teaching eighth grade. I gradually worked into instructing the students in the classroom. First, I watched as she guided the students, helped her grade essays and other assignments. Soon I was helping students with their work, and earlier than expected, I created lesson plans and started to teach. In the evenings, after work and cooking, I experienced lightheadedness- what I then called dizziness- but after several Doctor visits learned what it was. As I stood in front of the classroom and taught the class early one morning with my advisor observing me, the whole room spun around me for several seconds without falling over or even leaning over. I went on teaching my lesson. The saying: "those who never complain are never pitied" rang true. I did not complain, and I was not pitied. I finished my internship and obtained my Bachelor's in English and Secondary Education.
Right after graduation, I substituted again. I was still experiencing dizziness accompanied by a stiff neck, tingling, and headaches. It came like clockwork. Every Sunday I would wake up tired as if I had not gotten enough sleep. The dizziness went from occurring now and then to every Sunday. It happened every Sunday in the month of December and January. Until one Sunday my limbs felt like weights and were stiff that I could not move or even get up from the bed. Several Sundays I woke on my back unable to get my body off the bed until after 30 minutes of lying awake in bed. I carried my limbs that way from Sunday until Tuesday unable to lift my arms properly and taking forever to get from one place to the other.
After I had finished school, I began to get worse. Not only was I dizzy half the time during the day, but I was also experiencing tingling throughout my body, neck pain, fatigue, and a stabbing pain in my temples. Although it was not constant, the pain was often and debilitating. On the first Sunday of 2015, in trying to wake up from bed to go to church, I couldn't. I laid in bed unable to move a muscle and unable to open my eyes. I felt myself trying to get up but couldn't.
After that time, the next time it happened, was the next Sunday, and every Sunday after that and it would drag into the next two days experiencing tingling all over my body and was hardly unable to move. Instead of staying home I worked at the schools trying to substitute and carried on as usual. It became a recurring event.
Every Sunday from then on I was unable to get up from bed; this began to create a numbing sensation on the left side of my body, sometimes the arm and sometimes the leg. Then my muscles became stiff until I managed to move my body. Tired, dizzy, tingling, numb and sleeping most of the time, my life became harder than it had ever been before and doing daily mundane tasks became almost impossible without being worn out.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Trip to Grandma's
In January of the year 2014, on a sunny Sunday afternoon after church, I was driving towards my mother in law's home. My kids and I were headed there to meet with my sister in law and her two daughters so that my kids could spend the night with their cousins. Unfortunately, the event never took place. Instead of having a week of playing with cousins the week became a traumatic experience for my kids and myself that would later fuel future conversations around the dinner table and family gatherings.
As I drove my Honda Odyssey with my two daughters and my son, I made the decision to take a quick look at my hair in the mirror. In the few seconds that I spent looking at myself in the mirror, I drove off the road; I then overcorrected to make my way back to the road which then caused me to overcorrect again and go off the road again. I kept driving, afraid and shocked of finding myself unable to get myself out of the situation. I turned to look behind me, watched as my son took a bite of his chocolate bar and saw it hit his mouth; when I suddenly crashed into a culvert causing the airbag to explode against my right hand gripping the wheel and my face.
At that moment, the only thing I worried about was my three kids. I turned to face Emma who was beside me in the front seat to see whether she was alright only to find that she had not been bleeding nor had she experienced anything fatal. I then turned to check on my younger kids who although are thirteen months apart look like twins. Natalia who was scared did not cry nor did she complain and was okay, but Viktor, my youngest, was bleeding.
I took off my seat belt, got out of the car and walked over to him. As soon as I saw his swollen, bleeding mouth, I began to cry at the sight of what I had caused him, and he started to cry in return. When I realized that my crying was making him cry, I stopped crying and in a soft voice calmed him down saying that everything would be alright. He stopped crying and asked if we were going to be alright, I then reassured him that we were. The car in the other lane stopped, and the people got out to see if we were alright. Before I knew it, my wreck had created a long line of cars that included my mother and sister in law.
A lady, the owner of whose yard I had ruined, came out with blankets for my kids. My husband arrived at the scene shortly and after several minutes, an ambulance came and took my two daughters to the same hospital as they were trying to keep Viktor from falling asleep in case he had a concussion. He was then carried off in a helicopter which flew my son to a hospital one hour away to see if he needed oral surgery.
I did not feel anything physically wrong except maybe my hand burning from the airbag hitting me. The only thing that worried me was my son and his health. I had no time to think about myself whatsoever or to check me in into the hospital. My daughters suffered no issues and Viktor who wore a swollen cheek for a couple of weeks did not have the need for surgery. I on the other hand well let's just say it is the result of many, many other posts to come.
As I drove my Honda Odyssey with my two daughters and my son, I made the decision to take a quick look at my hair in the mirror. In the few seconds that I spent looking at myself in the mirror, I drove off the road; I then overcorrected to make my way back to the road which then caused me to overcorrect again and go off the road again. I kept driving, afraid and shocked of finding myself unable to get myself out of the situation. I turned to look behind me, watched as my son took a bite of his chocolate bar and saw it hit his mouth; when I suddenly crashed into a culvert causing the airbag to explode against my right hand gripping the wheel and my face.
At that moment, the only thing I worried about was my three kids. I turned to face Emma who was beside me in the front seat to see whether she was alright only to find that she had not been bleeding nor had she experienced anything fatal. I then turned to check on my younger kids who although are thirteen months apart look like twins. Natalia who was scared did not cry nor did she complain and was okay, but Viktor, my youngest, was bleeding.
I took off my seat belt, got out of the car and walked over to him. As soon as I saw his swollen, bleeding mouth, I began to cry at the sight of what I had caused him, and he started to cry in return. When I realized that my crying was making him cry, I stopped crying and in a soft voice calmed him down saying that everything would be alright. He stopped crying and asked if we were going to be alright, I then reassured him that we were. The car in the other lane stopped, and the people got out to see if we were alright. Before I knew it, my wreck had created a long line of cars that included my mother and sister in law.
A lady, the owner of whose yard I had ruined, came out with blankets for my kids. My husband arrived at the scene shortly and after several minutes, an ambulance came and took my two daughters to the same hospital as they were trying to keep Viktor from falling asleep in case he had a concussion. He was then carried off in a helicopter which flew my son to a hospital one hour away to see if he needed oral surgery.
I did not feel anything physically wrong except maybe my hand burning from the airbag hitting me. The only thing that worried me was my son and his health. I had no time to think about myself whatsoever or to check me in into the hospital. My daughters suffered no issues and Viktor who wore a swollen cheek for a couple of weeks did not have the need for surgery. I on the other hand well let's just say it is the result of many, many other posts to come.
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