Thursday, June 28, 2018
Sunday, December 31, 2017
A real diagnosis
After my younger sister mentioned CIRS- a disease caused by toxins from a moldy environment- one day, I ventured to learn all about it. I took an eight-week course, I read Dr. Shoemaker's literature on the subject on his website, watched his videos, and read other blogs dedicated to the topic. As I read on, I found that my symptoms matched those of the patients with CIRS and Lyme. Neurological issues such as dizziness, tingling, numbness, and palpitations were on the list. Moreso was the other symptoms that did not fit into any other category such as being unable to exercise - dysautonomia, blurred vision, weird skin sensations, fatigue, muscle spasms, unusual pain, ice pick pain, joint pain, morning stiffness, and much more symptoms I was having which are found at survivingmold.com/mold-symptoms. Having already been tested for Lyme, I knew what I had to do and decided to contact doctors who specialize in treating patients with CIRS.
I began my search and found that there were no doctors in Alabama that were trained to treat CIRS so I looked at a long list of doctors in the surrounding areas using a list provided at biotoxinjourney.com. The list included several in the west region and was left with doctors in Florida, a center in Texas to treat patients with mold, and two holistic doctors in Atlanta. Needless to say, I chose to go with a doctor in Atlanta and made an appointment so that I could be treated as soon as possible hoping for my treatment to begin during my summer break. During my first visit labs were drawn and my husband and I spent an hour speaking with the doctor. He was thorough and explained everything well.
First, he asked me what big events occurred before I began to experience the symptoms I was having. I explained that I had a car accident earlier that year and that a couple of months later, after hiking, I had a tick on my hip. I then told him how I had been tested for Lyme a year later, but that it had come back negative. Second, he asked me what my symptoms were and he said they all matched the symptoms of a CIRS patient. Third, he explained all the labs that he would draw and what he would be looking for in each and every one of the labs. He gave me numbers and all kinds of specifics and that made me hopeful.
A month later after visiting him, I went back to discuss the labs. My husband walked in and waited for him to enter. He walked in ten minutes after us. He discussed what every lab that he ordered showed and explained what each looked like for a CIRS patient so it turned out that I did not have CIRS. But instead tested positive for Lyme disease. Meaning that all my symptoms were not anxiety, nor in my head but that something inside me was causing all the dizziness, tingling, ice picking pain, headaches, joint pain, palpitations, shortness of breath, air hunger, muscle spasms, and the feeling of being on fire.
Although he said that it would have been better to have come to him when I first experienced my symptoms, as if I had known that it was Lyme, I began to be hopeful. I was ready to feel better. I was ready for relief.
I began my search and found that there were no doctors in Alabama that were trained to treat CIRS so I looked at a long list of doctors in the surrounding areas using a list provided at biotoxinjourney.com. The list included several in the west region and was left with doctors in Florida, a center in Texas to treat patients with mold, and two holistic doctors in Atlanta. Needless to say, I chose to go with a doctor in Atlanta and made an appointment so that I could be treated as soon as possible hoping for my treatment to begin during my summer break. During my first visit labs were drawn and my husband and I spent an hour speaking with the doctor. He was thorough and explained everything well.
First, he asked me what big events occurred before I began to experience the symptoms I was having. I explained that I had a car accident earlier that year and that a couple of months later, after hiking, I had a tick on my hip. I then told him how I had been tested for Lyme a year later, but that it had come back negative. Second, he asked me what my symptoms were and he said they all matched the symptoms of a CIRS patient. Third, he explained all the labs that he would draw and what he would be looking for in each and every one of the labs. He gave me numbers and all kinds of specifics and that made me hopeful.
A month later after visiting him, I went back to discuss the labs. My husband walked in and waited for him to enter. He walked in ten minutes after us. He discussed what every lab that he ordered showed and explained what each looked like for a CIRS patient so it turned out that I did not have CIRS. But instead tested positive for Lyme disease. Meaning that all my symptoms were not anxiety, nor in my head but that something inside me was causing all the dizziness, tingling, ice picking pain, headaches, joint pain, palpitations, shortness of breath, air hunger, muscle spasms, and the feeling of being on fire.
Although he said that it would have been better to have come to him when I first experienced my symptoms, as if I had known that it was Lyme, I began to be hopeful. I was ready to feel better. I was ready for relief.
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
On fire!
Usually, when we refer to someone being on fire during a sport or some type of competition, we mean that they are on point, and are doing a great job. The only other time we use the phrase is when literally speaking of something or sometimes someone being set on fire. This post has nothing to do with either any one of those. Although no one can imagine what it feels to be set on fire, unless one has been set on fire, having gone through that sensation, I can say that I have an idea of what it feels like. For the past several years I have gone back and forth through two types of burning sensations. One of those sensations is a feeling of being burned by flames, while the other is an ice picking pain that burns and stings at the same time and comes without warning, and at different points in time. Both causing a sense of terror inside me that have me wondering whether I am slowly dying.
I will never forget the time that I felt as though a fire was burning me. I had woken up to get the kids ready for school with an unbearable headache. As I stood in front of the girls' bed, I woke them up and got them out of bed only to lie down in it myself. My head throbbed and burned. I felt as though my brain was on fire. I could not do much except lie there in pain. I told my husband my symptoms, and he gave me either Sudafed or something like it that put me to sleep. This lasted for several days, and I was in bed the whole time. This feeling of my brain being on fire happened again a month after and it soon became a monthly occurrence. And then, one day, it had decided to spread over my body.
My right hip, I stared at it, as it felt as though someone was inside my body and took an iron and pressed it against my hip. Again I was bewildered but kept my composure. I tried to calm my worries by not letting it get to me. I realized that something was happening to my body without knowing what it was. I did not want to alarm my husband nor my family so I did not disclose this new symptom that my body was creating to what seemed to me a long list of symptoms. And told myself that if I went to a doctor that they would be unable to help and say that it was all part of my anxiety. Which eventually I did and was placed on some more anxiety medicines. I began to take amitriptyline along with Lexapro. Yet I was still experiencing all the neurological symptoms, and now these weird sensations in my skin that doctors said were caused by anxiety but were not being relieved by the prescriptions. This burning that permeated throughout my body internally was random and burned whenever and wherever.
Not long after that sensation, I began to experience yet another different type of being on fire. This one was a bit more complex, and for the longest time did not know how to explain it to my husband until I studied the symptoms of CIRS, but it was just as painful as the prior feeling. Just as the previous sensation, I experienced the ice picking pain burning and stinging me internally. I cannot remember the exact date, but I remember being in the kitchen washing dishes and suddenly feeling the sensation you get when you have been sitting out in freezing temperatures for hours, or when you have been holding ice too long. Internally, my pinky felt as though someone was holding ice to it and immediately the ice began to pick at my pinky causing it to burn and sting. The sensation lasted for about fifteen to twenty seconds.
Bewildered, I stood there trying to figure out what could have caused it and understand what was happening with my body. Before this, I had been speaking to my sisters about my neurological issues. They were adamantly searching for answers with me. During this time I was taking medicine for anxiety, Lexapro. This was doing wonders for my breathing and my chest pain. But had done nothing for my tingling, and dizziness. And now I had another symptom to worry about. This ice picking pain that burned and stung my pinky, fingers, legs, arms, and eventually every part of my body imaginable began to occur frequently. I can't say how frequent but I can say it was enough during the day that it stopped me mid track during my everyday tasks until it subsided and I could go on.
From headaches that made me feel as if my head is on fire and sensations of every part of my body being burned to the ice picking pain that burns and stings my extremities, I go back and forth in this never-ending torture chamber that does not cease, and leaves me desiring nothing more than to be rid of it- no matter how. But strive to live no matter the pain. And the good days make it better.
I will never forget the time that I felt as though a fire was burning me. I had woken up to get the kids ready for school with an unbearable headache. As I stood in front of the girls' bed, I woke them up and got them out of bed only to lie down in it myself. My head throbbed and burned. I felt as though my brain was on fire. I could not do much except lie there in pain. I told my husband my symptoms, and he gave me either Sudafed or something like it that put me to sleep. This lasted for several days, and I was in bed the whole time. This feeling of my brain being on fire happened again a month after and it soon became a monthly occurrence. And then, one day, it had decided to spread over my body.
My right hip, I stared at it, as it felt as though someone was inside my body and took an iron and pressed it against my hip. Again I was bewildered but kept my composure. I tried to calm my worries by not letting it get to me. I realized that something was happening to my body without knowing what it was. I did not want to alarm my husband nor my family so I did not disclose this new symptom that my body was creating to what seemed to me a long list of symptoms. And told myself that if I went to a doctor that they would be unable to help and say that it was all part of my anxiety. Which eventually I did and was placed on some more anxiety medicines. I began to take amitriptyline along with Lexapro. Yet I was still experiencing all the neurological symptoms, and now these weird sensations in my skin that doctors said were caused by anxiety but were not being relieved by the prescriptions. This burning that permeated throughout my body internally was random and burned whenever and wherever.
Not long after that sensation, I began to experience yet another different type of being on fire. This one was a bit more complex, and for the longest time did not know how to explain it to my husband until I studied the symptoms of CIRS, but it was just as painful as the prior feeling. Just as the previous sensation, I experienced the ice picking pain burning and stinging me internally. I cannot remember the exact date, but I remember being in the kitchen washing dishes and suddenly feeling the sensation you get when you have been sitting out in freezing temperatures for hours, or when you have been holding ice too long. Internally, my pinky felt as though someone was holding ice to it and immediately the ice began to pick at my pinky causing it to burn and sting. The sensation lasted for about fifteen to twenty seconds.
Bewildered, I stood there trying to figure out what could have caused it and understand what was happening with my body. Before this, I had been speaking to my sisters about my neurological issues. They were adamantly searching for answers with me. During this time I was taking medicine for anxiety, Lexapro. This was doing wonders for my breathing and my chest pain. But had done nothing for my tingling, and dizziness. And now I had another symptom to worry about. This ice picking pain that burned and stung my pinky, fingers, legs, arms, and eventually every part of my body imaginable began to occur frequently. I can't say how frequent but I can say it was enough during the day that it stopped me mid track during my everyday tasks until it subsided and I could go on.
From headaches that made me feel as if my head is on fire and sensations of every part of my body being burned to the ice picking pain that burns and stings my extremities, I go back and forth in this never-ending torture chamber that does not cease, and leaves me desiring nothing more than to be rid of it- no matter how. But strive to live no matter the pain. And the good days make it better.
Monday, January 2, 2017
I look good
Do not be fooled by the title, though it may seem that I am full of myself, I am not. Even though some may think me as such, I try not to be the kind of person that thinks she is, nor places herself above others. Those that honestly know me know that I am not one of those who degrades others to make herself look better or think better of herself. My title could probably be better, but it is the whole focus of this post, especially since I cannot do anything about my present situation but to blog about it and vent out my frustration.
Looking good and looking well maybe thought of as the same thing, but the funny thing about rhetoric is that words are not always used by their real meaning. Looking good refers to our outward appearance whereas looking well refers to ones' health. Figuratively speaking looking good in my case refers to the same thing as looking well. In this post, "I look Good" refers not to my self-esteem or about how "great" I look but rather to the fact that after a few years now, my health or rather how I feel, and my appearance happen to be two different things, and although I may look okay, I am the opposite of being that.
If you have read my past blogs, then you know the deal. If you haven't then let me tell you, in a nutshell, the predicament I have found myself in for the past two and a half years. A while back ago, as soon as my first daughter started school, I decided to go back to school and receive my education. The last year of my four year degree, during my student teaching, I began to feel like an entirely different person.
Although I had been experiencing some mild dizziness ever so often sometime before, I never considered myself ill because the dizziness came sporadically such as being in certain heights or positions and only at certain periods of the month. When I began my student teaching, my dizziness had evolved to a new level, and it commenced to occur every other day from out of nowhere followed by a stab in the temple, fatigue, and a stiff neck. Soon it was not just at certain heights or certain positions, but it was more often. Like clockwork, every Sunday I would be unable to move my heavy limbs, get up out of bed and when finally able to get up felt tired, stiff, and dizzy.
After graduation, I began to experience some tingling throughout the body that kept me from getting up from bed or from anywhere that I was sitting. When I was not experiencing dizziness, or tingling everywhere, and anywhere, my brain was on fire. Soon I found myself afraid to move a muscle because of the tingling, dizziness, and fatigue. My limbs felt as though they were weights. I was pushing myself all the time to get around or do anything. I sometimes was stuck sitting down in one place for a while unable to move an inch of my body, not even my head.
Because I was one of the many people who did not have insurance, I began to consider alternative medicine, essential oils. Using the essential oils helped the headaches and the pain in the back of my neck. When those were not enough, I got on insurance through the health market, also known as Obamacare. I went to the nearest doctor and after the second visit told that she did not know what to tell me and advised that I work out without knowing that I had to stop working out because of the pain and fatigue. Discouraged by the doctor, whose name I shall not reveal, I decided to venture elsewhere, to a nurse practitioner who I had worked for before. Listening to my pleas rather her own, she sent me to a neurologist who prescribed me some anxiety medicine which helped with the headaches but not the tingling or numbing of the face that accompanied the tingling ever so often. All the while I am not looking the part.
All this stuff is going on inside of me and people begin to say that it is in my head and for a while start to believe it myself. I consider the possibility of this and because I look healthy decide to make the decision to stop worrying about the things my body was doing and stopped going to doctors and just try to live life without thinking about it. Instead of comparing my symptoms with other people too apt to tell of their illnesses or symptoms or getting on WebMD to check under what diagnosis my symptoms fall, I went about my daily tasks as any other healthy looking woman. At times I felt strong, and at other times I did not. I had never felt so out of wack. I was happy that I could pass off as someone that had nothing wrong, but at the same time, I dreaded it because I wanted -still do- to act like everyone else and do what everyone else was doing. I want to be the woman that I look like healthy, energetic, and active, not unlike the woman I was feeling. I had become afraid of being called a fraud or of trying to seek attention or being thought of as lazy because I am neither one of those things.
Unlike cancer or other forms of illnesses, mine is not one that you could tell it by my appearance unless you knew me. My father could tell the difference, but other than my sisters and parents, not even my husband felt like there was anything the matter with me. He believed what he saw and what he saw was a healthy woman who looked well enough to care for him and their family without noting the exhaustion in my eyes, the heavy limbs I could not lift, nor the dizziness and tingling feeling that passed through my body. I looked healthy, and to him and many others, I was fine. Soon I chose which events to attend or not to attend. I could not possibly do everything I wanted to do or go to all the places I wanted to be.
So I skip events, especially when I am not feeling well, events that for the most part require my vitality and my strength because I do not want to feel like I am falling over when I am not or feeling the discomfort of the tingling and the pain that comes along with it. The battle is still going on. This Thanksgiving was unbearable because when I woke up, I was stiff from my neck down to my legs. I am thankful that I can move unlike a year and a half ago when I could barely lift my legs up the stairs of my in-law's home. My head was on fire, I was tingling in every other place from time to time and my legs and face kept going numb whenever they wanted.
Although I was there, all I wanted to do was be in bed and not move, regardless of my condition. I headed off to my in-laws' for lunch and to my sister's for dinner. The holidays are busy for our family, and I always enjoy having an American lunch at my in-laws home and Mexican dinner with my parents and my sisters for Thanksgiving. When you are unable to move around without the feeling of falling or feeling the room spin it becomes hard to enjoy your family the way you want even when you look alright and healthy. In short, I may look healthy and as if there is nothing wrong, but my body tells me differently and the only way to make it better is to lie down in bed.
Looking good and looking well maybe thought of as the same thing, but the funny thing about rhetoric is that words are not always used by their real meaning. Looking good refers to our outward appearance whereas looking well refers to ones' health. Figuratively speaking looking good in my case refers to the same thing as looking well. In this post, "I look Good" refers not to my self-esteem or about how "great" I look but rather to the fact that after a few years now, my health or rather how I feel, and my appearance happen to be two different things, and although I may look okay, I am the opposite of being that.
If you have read my past blogs, then you know the deal. If you haven't then let me tell you, in a nutshell, the predicament I have found myself in for the past two and a half years. A while back ago, as soon as my first daughter started school, I decided to go back to school and receive my education. The last year of my four year degree, during my student teaching, I began to feel like an entirely different person.
Although I had been experiencing some mild dizziness ever so often sometime before, I never considered myself ill because the dizziness came sporadically such as being in certain heights or positions and only at certain periods of the month. When I began my student teaching, my dizziness had evolved to a new level, and it commenced to occur every other day from out of nowhere followed by a stab in the temple, fatigue, and a stiff neck. Soon it was not just at certain heights or certain positions, but it was more often. Like clockwork, every Sunday I would be unable to move my heavy limbs, get up out of bed and when finally able to get up felt tired, stiff, and dizzy.
After graduation, I began to experience some tingling throughout the body that kept me from getting up from bed or from anywhere that I was sitting. When I was not experiencing dizziness, or tingling everywhere, and anywhere, my brain was on fire. Soon I found myself afraid to move a muscle because of the tingling, dizziness, and fatigue. My limbs felt as though they were weights. I was pushing myself all the time to get around or do anything. I sometimes was stuck sitting down in one place for a while unable to move an inch of my body, not even my head.
Because I was one of the many people who did not have insurance, I began to consider alternative medicine, essential oils. Using the essential oils helped the headaches and the pain in the back of my neck. When those were not enough, I got on insurance through the health market, also known as Obamacare. I went to the nearest doctor and after the second visit told that she did not know what to tell me and advised that I work out without knowing that I had to stop working out because of the pain and fatigue. Discouraged by the doctor, whose name I shall not reveal, I decided to venture elsewhere, to a nurse practitioner who I had worked for before. Listening to my pleas rather her own, she sent me to a neurologist who prescribed me some anxiety medicine which helped with the headaches but not the tingling or numbing of the face that accompanied the tingling ever so often. All the while I am not looking the part.
All this stuff is going on inside of me and people begin to say that it is in my head and for a while start to believe it myself. I consider the possibility of this and because I look healthy decide to make the decision to stop worrying about the things my body was doing and stopped going to doctors and just try to live life without thinking about it. Instead of comparing my symptoms with other people too apt to tell of their illnesses or symptoms or getting on WebMD to check under what diagnosis my symptoms fall, I went about my daily tasks as any other healthy looking woman. At times I felt strong, and at other times I did not. I had never felt so out of wack. I was happy that I could pass off as someone that had nothing wrong, but at the same time, I dreaded it because I wanted -still do- to act like everyone else and do what everyone else was doing. I want to be the woman that I look like healthy, energetic, and active, not unlike the woman I was feeling. I had become afraid of being called a fraud or of trying to seek attention or being thought of as lazy because I am neither one of those things.
Unlike cancer or other forms of illnesses, mine is not one that you could tell it by my appearance unless you knew me. My father could tell the difference, but other than my sisters and parents, not even my husband felt like there was anything the matter with me. He believed what he saw and what he saw was a healthy woman who looked well enough to care for him and their family without noting the exhaustion in my eyes, the heavy limbs I could not lift, nor the dizziness and tingling feeling that passed through my body. I looked healthy, and to him and many others, I was fine. Soon I chose which events to attend or not to attend. I could not possibly do everything I wanted to do or go to all the places I wanted to be.
So I skip events, especially when I am not feeling well, events that for the most part require my vitality and my strength because I do not want to feel like I am falling over when I am not or feeling the discomfort of the tingling and the pain that comes along with it. The battle is still going on. This Thanksgiving was unbearable because when I woke up, I was stiff from my neck down to my legs. I am thankful that I can move unlike a year and a half ago when I could barely lift my legs up the stairs of my in-law's home. My head was on fire, I was tingling in every other place from time to time and my legs and face kept going numb whenever they wanted.
Although I was there, all I wanted to do was be in bed and not move, regardless of my condition. I headed off to my in-laws' for lunch and to my sister's for dinner. The holidays are busy for our family, and I always enjoy having an American lunch at my in-laws home and Mexican dinner with my parents and my sisters for Thanksgiving. When you are unable to move around without the feeling of falling or feeling the room spin it becomes hard to enjoy your family the way you want even when you look alright and healthy. In short, I may look healthy and as if there is nothing wrong, but my body tells me differently and the only way to make it better is to lie down in bed.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Tingly and Dizzy
I am not one to share my problems for the purpose of seeking pity. The reason I am blogging about my illness it is because it is therapeutic and because I want to share my experience with others who may be in the same situation that I am. Since I have been feeling this way I have met many people with similar symptoms. More importantly, I was told to keep a journal of my symptoms by doctors in Florida and Boston and report them to my family doctor. But when my family doctor told me that it was something that I would have to live with for the rest of my life, I was devastated. It was hard to believe that I would live the rest of my life being dizzy all the time and having a random part of my body tingle when I least expect it leaving me groaning in pain and having people asking me if I was alright.
When I first began to feel the dizziness I thought that it was bad. But I had no idea what it truly was to be dizzy. The first couple of times it was pretty mild. It is what in the medical field they call lightheadedness. Light headedness is exactly what the word means. It is feeling that your head is lighter than usual and a feeling of fainting that lasts a couple of seconds. This happened many times and it would happen randomly. The first occurrence I felt of actual dizziness was while I was working on my teaching internship in the fall of 2014. I was standing in the front of the room teaching my class when all of a sudden the room began to spin. I thought I was going to fall over, but I didn't. I was able to manage the feeling without looking completely dumb. But I felt drunk in this dizziness. I did not feel right, I felt sickly. And I did not want to acknowledge that there was something wrong with me, but it was too much.
Although it worried me, I also did not have insurance and could not do much about it. So instead I made myself busy working on daily tasks and tried not to concentrate on whatever was going on with me. That was a mistake. Why you may ask? It is because you cannot only ignore a problem and expect it to go away because it simply gets worse, never better. This dizziness that left me stuck where I stood or sat and left me with the feeling of falling over, was slowly taking over my life. I was afraid of driving or of falling over, even though I never did. But just because I was not falling over and fainting it did not mean that it kept me from doing the things that I loved. I relaxed and it did not stop. I began to withdraw inside my bedroom and laid in bed all day.
I complained about being dizzy often enough before this started happening, little did I know that it was actually lightheadedness, so my husband treated it as a mild everyday occurrence. Until I realized what dizziness truly was and then my complaints turned to concerns. I was given Dramamine but to no avail. Regardless of my struggles, I could not disregard the fact that my body was telling me that something was wrong. I could not do anything without having the room spin around me.
When I began to feel the tingling, I am not sure. But I do remember that I would be sitting down and that my whole body would tingle and I would be unable to move or get up from the seat. I was tingling and immovable for several minutes until it would stop and would regain my mobility. It went from that to waking up with my left side tingling for what seemed thirty or more minutes. The next time it would happen it would be on the right side. And I laid in bed until it subsided. Eventually, it turned into this feeling of having critters crawling inside me, or hundreds of needles prickling me from the inside that came and went whenever it pleased and it was not always in the same place. No, sometimes my foot would tingle; sometimes it would be in my arm, my hand, my head, hips, mouth, eyes, my stomach, and even below my core region. Along with the dizziness, the tingling sensation that stung and hurt was slowly becoming part of my life.
Several months later I am still getting dizzy. I still experience the tingling and the pain everywhere. It is not an everyday thing. It has become a routine, and my body begins to do this consistently the first two weeks of the month. And then after that, it comes and goes. But as I write this blog, the dizziness persists. The room no longer spins all around me everyday, it only happens when it wants to. Both symptoms are followed by others that I will be sharing on another blog. But as for the dizziness and the tingling, I cannot win because to calm my dizziness I need to lie down, but lying down makes the tingling get worse, especially at night. But don't get me wrong, I have my good days and I treasure those days. But knowing that it will not last puts me on edge, yet I know that this will not be the death of me even though it may feel like it.
When I first began to feel the dizziness I thought that it was bad. But I had no idea what it truly was to be dizzy. The first couple of times it was pretty mild. It is what in the medical field they call lightheadedness. Light headedness is exactly what the word means. It is feeling that your head is lighter than usual and a feeling of fainting that lasts a couple of seconds. This happened many times and it would happen randomly. The first occurrence I felt of actual dizziness was while I was working on my teaching internship in the fall of 2014. I was standing in the front of the room teaching my class when all of a sudden the room began to spin. I thought I was going to fall over, but I didn't. I was able to manage the feeling without looking completely dumb. But I felt drunk in this dizziness. I did not feel right, I felt sickly. And I did not want to acknowledge that there was something wrong with me, but it was too much.
Although it worried me, I also did not have insurance and could not do much about it. So instead I made myself busy working on daily tasks and tried not to concentrate on whatever was going on with me. That was a mistake. Why you may ask? It is because you cannot only ignore a problem and expect it to go away because it simply gets worse, never better. This dizziness that left me stuck where I stood or sat and left me with the feeling of falling over, was slowly taking over my life. I was afraid of driving or of falling over, even though I never did. But just because I was not falling over and fainting it did not mean that it kept me from doing the things that I loved. I relaxed and it did not stop. I began to withdraw inside my bedroom and laid in bed all day.
I complained about being dizzy often enough before this started happening, little did I know that it was actually lightheadedness, so my husband treated it as a mild everyday occurrence. Until I realized what dizziness truly was and then my complaints turned to concerns. I was given Dramamine but to no avail. Regardless of my struggles, I could not disregard the fact that my body was telling me that something was wrong. I could not do anything without having the room spin around me.
When I began to feel the tingling, I am not sure. But I do remember that I would be sitting down and that my whole body would tingle and I would be unable to move or get up from the seat. I was tingling and immovable for several minutes until it would stop and would regain my mobility. It went from that to waking up with my left side tingling for what seemed thirty or more minutes. The next time it would happen it would be on the right side. And I laid in bed until it subsided. Eventually, it turned into this feeling of having critters crawling inside me, or hundreds of needles prickling me from the inside that came and went whenever it pleased and it was not always in the same place. No, sometimes my foot would tingle; sometimes it would be in my arm, my hand, my head, hips, mouth, eyes, my stomach, and even below my core region. Along with the dizziness, the tingling sensation that stung and hurt was slowly becoming part of my life.
Several months later I am still getting dizzy. I still experience the tingling and the pain everywhere. It is not an everyday thing. It has become a routine, and my body begins to do this consistently the first two weeks of the month. And then after that, it comes and goes. But as I write this blog, the dizziness persists. The room no longer spins all around me everyday, it only happens when it wants to. Both symptoms are followed by others that I will be sharing on another blog. But as for the dizziness and the tingling, I cannot win because to calm my dizziness I need to lie down, but lying down makes the tingling get worse, especially at night. But don't get me wrong, I have my good days and I treasure those days. But knowing that it will not last puts me on edge, yet I know that this will not be the death of me even though it may feel like it.
Saturday, August 13, 2016
A Year Later
Apart from your occasional headache, common cold, or seasonal allergies, I have always been a healthy person, one with much energy and vitality. It was uncommon for me to be sick or for me to be in bed for days. If I was unwell, I could not stay in bed for more than an hour or so without getting up and taking care of the picking up, cleaning, and laundry on my own. There was never a time, before January 2015, that I could nap for hours during the day or feel so fatigued that I could not get up from bed or even feel tired from working for several hours. I was the opposite; I could work, clean, or do anything from the minute I woke up in the morning until the minute my head hit the pillow without stopping. I'm not quite sure of the month or the day, but all of that turned around one day. Although it had been changing over time, it finally got to the point that I could not get up.
It hadn't been long after the wreck that I began to feel a stabbing pain in my temples that lasted no more than a few seconds. Along with the dizziness came a stiff neck and a headache. There were times while I was cooking that I would experience a stabbing pain on either one of my temples. Other days I felt my brain on fire and would have severe headaches that kept me in bed all day along with high fever. My husband and I are Christians and believe in a higher power. For those months, without insurance, I asked him to give me a blessing which I know with all of my heart helped me during the summer of 2015. Soon it was back to school, and I was to begin my student teaching. I was in my last year of my four-year college education, and I was ready to be finished, ready to move on to new horizons and begin a new journey that included having the perfect job and enjoying my family.
August rolled along, and in the second week of school, I started my student teaching at the local Middle School teaching eighth grade. I gradually worked into instructing the students in the classroom. First, I watched as she guided the students, helped her grade essays and other assignments. Soon I was helping students with their work, and earlier than expected, I created lesson plans and started to teach. In the evenings, after work and cooking, I experienced lightheadedness- what I then called dizziness- but after several Doctor visits learned what it was. As I stood in front of the classroom and taught the class early one morning with my advisor observing me, the whole room spun around me for several seconds without falling over or even leaning over. I went on teaching my lesson. The saying: "those who never complain are never pitied" rang true. I did not complain, and I was not pitied. I finished my internship and obtained my Bachelor's in English and Secondary Education.
Right after graduation, I substituted again. I was still experiencing dizziness accompanied by a stiff neck, tingling, and headaches. It came like clockwork. Every Sunday I would wake up tired as if I had not gotten enough sleep. The dizziness went from occurring now and then to every Sunday. It happened every Sunday in the month of December and January. Until one Sunday my limbs felt like weights and were stiff that I could not move or even get up from the bed. Several Sundays I woke on my back unable to get my body off the bed until after 30 minutes of lying awake in bed. I carried my limbs that way from Sunday until Tuesday unable to lift my arms properly and taking forever to get from one place to the other.
After I had finished school, I began to get worse. Not only was I dizzy half the time during the day, but I was also experiencing tingling throughout my body, neck pain, fatigue, and a stabbing pain in my temples. Although it was not constant, the pain was often and debilitating. On the first Sunday of 2015, in trying to wake up from bed to go to church, I couldn't. I laid in bed unable to move a muscle and unable to open my eyes. I felt myself trying to get up but couldn't.
After that time, the next time it happened, was the next Sunday, and every Sunday after that and it would drag into the next two days experiencing tingling all over my body and was hardly unable to move. Instead of staying home I worked at the schools trying to substitute and carried on as usual. It became a recurring event.
Every Sunday from then on I was unable to get up from bed; this began to create a numbing sensation on the left side of my body, sometimes the arm and sometimes the leg. Then my muscles became stiff until I managed to move my body. Tired, dizzy, tingling, numb and sleeping most of the time, my life became harder than it had ever been before and doing daily mundane tasks became almost impossible without being worn out.
It hadn't been long after the wreck that I began to feel a stabbing pain in my temples that lasted no more than a few seconds. Along with the dizziness came a stiff neck and a headache. There were times while I was cooking that I would experience a stabbing pain on either one of my temples. Other days I felt my brain on fire and would have severe headaches that kept me in bed all day along with high fever. My husband and I are Christians and believe in a higher power. For those months, without insurance, I asked him to give me a blessing which I know with all of my heart helped me during the summer of 2015. Soon it was back to school, and I was to begin my student teaching. I was in my last year of my four-year college education, and I was ready to be finished, ready to move on to new horizons and begin a new journey that included having the perfect job and enjoying my family.
August rolled along, and in the second week of school, I started my student teaching at the local Middle School teaching eighth grade. I gradually worked into instructing the students in the classroom. First, I watched as she guided the students, helped her grade essays and other assignments. Soon I was helping students with their work, and earlier than expected, I created lesson plans and started to teach. In the evenings, after work and cooking, I experienced lightheadedness- what I then called dizziness- but after several Doctor visits learned what it was. As I stood in front of the classroom and taught the class early one morning with my advisor observing me, the whole room spun around me for several seconds without falling over or even leaning over. I went on teaching my lesson. The saying: "those who never complain are never pitied" rang true. I did not complain, and I was not pitied. I finished my internship and obtained my Bachelor's in English and Secondary Education.
Right after graduation, I substituted again. I was still experiencing dizziness accompanied by a stiff neck, tingling, and headaches. It came like clockwork. Every Sunday I would wake up tired as if I had not gotten enough sleep. The dizziness went from occurring now and then to every Sunday. It happened every Sunday in the month of December and January. Until one Sunday my limbs felt like weights and were stiff that I could not move or even get up from the bed. Several Sundays I woke on my back unable to get my body off the bed until after 30 minutes of lying awake in bed. I carried my limbs that way from Sunday until Tuesday unable to lift my arms properly and taking forever to get from one place to the other.
After I had finished school, I began to get worse. Not only was I dizzy half the time during the day, but I was also experiencing tingling throughout my body, neck pain, fatigue, and a stabbing pain in my temples. Although it was not constant, the pain was often and debilitating. On the first Sunday of 2015, in trying to wake up from bed to go to church, I couldn't. I laid in bed unable to move a muscle and unable to open my eyes. I felt myself trying to get up but couldn't.
After that time, the next time it happened, was the next Sunday, and every Sunday after that and it would drag into the next two days experiencing tingling all over my body and was hardly unable to move. Instead of staying home I worked at the schools trying to substitute and carried on as usual. It became a recurring event.
Every Sunday from then on I was unable to get up from bed; this began to create a numbing sensation on the left side of my body, sometimes the arm and sometimes the leg. Then my muscles became stiff until I managed to move my body. Tired, dizzy, tingling, numb and sleeping most of the time, my life became harder than it had ever been before and doing daily mundane tasks became almost impossible without being worn out.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Trip to Grandma's
In January of the year 2014, on a sunny Sunday afternoon after church, I was driving towards my mother in law's home. My kids and I were headed there to meet with my sister in law and her two daughters so that my kids could spend the night with their cousins. Unfortunately, the event never took place. Instead of having a week of playing with cousins the week became a traumatic experience for my kids and myself that would later fuel future conversations around the dinner table and family gatherings.
As I drove my Honda Odyssey with my two daughters and my son, I made the decision to take a quick look at my hair in the mirror. In the few seconds that I spent looking at myself in the mirror, I drove off the road; I then overcorrected to make my way back to the road which then caused me to overcorrect again and go off the road again. I kept driving, afraid and shocked of finding myself unable to get myself out of the situation. I turned to look behind me, watched as my son took a bite of his chocolate bar and saw it hit his mouth; when I suddenly crashed into a culvert causing the airbag to explode against my right hand gripping the wheel and my face.
At that moment, the only thing I worried about was my three kids. I turned to face Emma who was beside me in the front seat to see whether she was alright only to find that she had not been bleeding nor had she experienced anything fatal. I then turned to check on my younger kids who although are thirteen months apart look like twins. Natalia who was scared did not cry nor did she complain and was okay, but Viktor, my youngest, was bleeding.
I took off my seat belt, got out of the car and walked over to him. As soon as I saw his swollen, bleeding mouth, I began to cry at the sight of what I had caused him, and he started to cry in return. When I realized that my crying was making him cry, I stopped crying and in a soft voice calmed him down saying that everything would be alright. He stopped crying and asked if we were going to be alright, I then reassured him that we were. The car in the other lane stopped, and the people got out to see if we were alright. Before I knew it, my wreck had created a long line of cars that included my mother and sister in law.
A lady, the owner of whose yard I had ruined, came out with blankets for my kids. My husband arrived at the scene shortly and after several minutes, an ambulance came and took my two daughters to the same hospital as they were trying to keep Viktor from falling asleep in case he had a concussion. He was then carried off in a helicopter which flew my son to a hospital one hour away to see if he needed oral surgery.
I did not feel anything physically wrong except maybe my hand burning from the airbag hitting me. The only thing that worried me was my son and his health. I had no time to think about myself whatsoever or to check me in into the hospital. My daughters suffered no issues and Viktor who wore a swollen cheek for a couple of weeks did not have the need for surgery. I on the other hand well let's just say it is the result of many, many other posts to come.
As I drove my Honda Odyssey with my two daughters and my son, I made the decision to take a quick look at my hair in the mirror. In the few seconds that I spent looking at myself in the mirror, I drove off the road; I then overcorrected to make my way back to the road which then caused me to overcorrect again and go off the road again. I kept driving, afraid and shocked of finding myself unable to get myself out of the situation. I turned to look behind me, watched as my son took a bite of his chocolate bar and saw it hit his mouth; when I suddenly crashed into a culvert causing the airbag to explode against my right hand gripping the wheel and my face.
At that moment, the only thing I worried about was my three kids. I turned to face Emma who was beside me in the front seat to see whether she was alright only to find that she had not been bleeding nor had she experienced anything fatal. I then turned to check on my younger kids who although are thirteen months apart look like twins. Natalia who was scared did not cry nor did she complain and was okay, but Viktor, my youngest, was bleeding.
I took off my seat belt, got out of the car and walked over to him. As soon as I saw his swollen, bleeding mouth, I began to cry at the sight of what I had caused him, and he started to cry in return. When I realized that my crying was making him cry, I stopped crying and in a soft voice calmed him down saying that everything would be alright. He stopped crying and asked if we were going to be alright, I then reassured him that we were. The car in the other lane stopped, and the people got out to see if we were alright. Before I knew it, my wreck had created a long line of cars that included my mother and sister in law.
A lady, the owner of whose yard I had ruined, came out with blankets for my kids. My husband arrived at the scene shortly and after several minutes, an ambulance came and took my two daughters to the same hospital as they were trying to keep Viktor from falling asleep in case he had a concussion. He was then carried off in a helicopter which flew my son to a hospital one hour away to see if he needed oral surgery.
I did not feel anything physically wrong except maybe my hand burning from the airbag hitting me. The only thing that worried me was my son and his health. I had no time to think about myself whatsoever or to check me in into the hospital. My daughters suffered no issues and Viktor who wore a swollen cheek for a couple of weeks did not have the need for surgery. I on the other hand well let's just say it is the result of many, many other posts to come.
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